my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
