So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
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