The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
