Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
