You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
