The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
