I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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