Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
