What a fucking waste of an outfit
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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