she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize