I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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