i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
