you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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