Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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