At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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