What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
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