dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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