just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
