I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize
