Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
