I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
