So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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