I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
