meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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