And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
It's just like the Real World with babies
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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