He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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