remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
