Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
