I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
