corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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