just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
