At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Vodka?
Forever.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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