I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
My bed smells like the plague
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
