There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
