The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
