Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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