Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Randomize
