yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
the day after is always just damage control
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
