whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
