I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
