Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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