It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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