New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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