ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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