Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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