THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
are you so shy because you have an std?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
