paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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