You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
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