Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
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