My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Randomize
