Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
