Will you blow on my dice?
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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