You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Randomize
