Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
