last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
