I'm drive I can fine osifer
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
