dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
