Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
