kristin has been a bad kristin
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Sober January is a disaster.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
