I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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