I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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