she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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