is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I wish i was in the wii world.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
