Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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