Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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